Thursday, July 15, 2010

Soak me in the Water Until I am Drenched

I am leaving on a jet plane later today my little lipscheins. For those of you that know me well enough to have been quite worried for me lately and for those of you who don't know me at all, trust me when I say, this girl needs her girls and I need them now. I'm Jonesing for the love and affection I receive from these particular 7 women who have shaped my life and who continue to prop me back up each time I stray off the path of the ordinary, expected life.

Come to think of it, I spend a lot of time there on that road less traveled.  So much so, one might be able to say it is my ordinary.

I fly in a day early to meet with another group of powerful women from my OKC days. We're having dinner, lots to catch up on, then I will stay with one them for the night. We will stay up late and drink red wine with really decadent chocolates. In the morning, she's going to show me all the wonderful new developments in my city. She's going to make me want to move back there, I can just feel it.

I will leave her around noon to have lunch with four of the most beautiful souls I know - my three nieces and my nephew. I'm forcing them to eat at my favorite Mexican food restaurant because you just can't get that shit here. Sayonara, or should I say hasta luego to Ms. Jenny Craig for the weekend because it's against vacation policy to diet when you're in the midst of the pure ecstasy that is Ted's.  Yes, it's a Mexican food restaurant named Ted's.  You got a problem with that?

After lunch with the young'ns, I'm off to the airport to pick up the Canadian doctor. She has flashy blond hair, will probably be wearing some killer stilettos and toting around an ostentatiously large piece of luggage to house all the well thought out ensembles she will don over the weekend. Erstwhile, I will be wearing my trademark flip flops and either a black or white tank top because I didn't want to have to think to hard to coordinate colors.

I told her I was going to pull up to the curb, roll down the window and yell, "Bitch, get your ass in the car before LeRoy catches you here again". She's cool with that.  It doesn't matter how big her bags are because she dropped the biggest piece of abusive pile of shit husband of hers and is on her way to living free of his maniacal control for the first time in decades.

Then one by one they will all arrive at our prestigious "Bricktown" hotel.  There's Babe, who is also known as Bert (the Bert to my Ernie) who will be responsible for at least three of us spontaneously peeing our pants within the first two hours of our stay. Sparkle will be there, also known as Sweetie Pie. She just lost her Memory so we have to be gentle and apply a little extra love to her. I think Gina and Lori are driving together and more importantly, bringing the booze. Gina is in charge of security for the weekend. Lori will be in charge of quietly observing us for a bit. Memorizing all of our fast talking rants then opening her mouth to say the most profound thing we've ever heard, rendering us all silent as we fall at her feet and beg for her to tell us more.

We are going to get to wrap our arms around Ms. P, not the Mrs. P we had last seen. She is free from a horrible man who tried to break her spirit. But you can't keep this woman down. I am excited at the thought of her new life and cannot wait to soak it all in while we sit poolside drinking cocktails. I love her laugh. I can hear it in my head right now.

Last but ever so entirely not least in any way is the person who has become our team cheerleader, tell it like it is sassy, happier than all get out, Tina Sue. She makes us smile each and every day and splatters us with love like a Jackson Pollock paintbrush. She flings it all over us until we lie back and realize we are masterpieces in her eyes. Then she will give each and everyone of us her personal smushing. It's her word.

And me, I have purchased a one-way ticket for a very large piece of me to remain behind there in that hotel room. I will cry it out. I will soak up strength from these women the way the spring thaw in Wisconsin soaks up twenty inches of snow. No more worries over ex husbands and jail.....I got it handled. No more broken heart....I am ready to start fresh. No more Jerry Maguire moral epiphanies where I seek to call into question the mission statement of the people who allow me to feed my children. I will reign all that in because by cup will runneth over and this gaping hole in my stomach will be filled with unconditional love, acceptance and really fucking good Mexican food made by a guy named Ted.


  1. Bring it on Bitch. Bring. It. On.

  2. Sounds like an amazing and much needed getaway. I hope you and the rest of the Leaders of the Free World have a fantastic time together. Would love to see you if you get a chance! Hell...even if you just need your booze supply replenished at the hotel or pool, I'll deliver. Good choice on Ted's by the way...he's a much better cook than Jenny Craig! Have a fantastic weekend!!

  3. I want to fly away somewhere! Have fun!

  4. Robin - Oh, I'm bringing' it.

    Megan - Why don't you meet us for lunch on Friday, south side Ted's at 1:00. Would love, love, love to see you!

    Missy - Thanks! I hope you get to fly soon!

  5. That sounds like the perfect weekend!! You and Leiah are making me miss my girls more and more!!

    I'll be on Oklahoma today. but not OKC and only for a minute as I make my way to AR to see the Boy I Loved When I Was Ten. I'll get stabby if we have any weird waitress shit again.

  6. Blog walking and found my way here. Hope you and the girls have a fun, and safe vacation. Are you sure one person in charge of the booze is enough? lol

    swing by for a visit the welcome mats always out

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  8. Hope you're laughing your head off this very minute while stuffing guacomole and salsa into your face.


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