Saturday, May 29, 2010
Who’s Yo Mama?
I don’t like getting chain emails and I would rather have my fingernails removed than listen to political diatribes from ignorant, racist assholes. So you can imagine my delight when I received a chain email containing all the above; and from my brother no less. I have told him time and time again to stop sending these. He knows I’m especially sensitive to political rhetoric after being married to a lying, cheating, thief who morphed into an ultra-conservative political junkie then back into a thief while still wound tighter than a latent homosexual preacher’s wife.
My brother always liked to pick on me. He loved to sit back and watch me slowly come to a boil. I think he’s doing it again. He has the same ornery look on his face as he taps the send button, wishing beyond all that is holy to see my face when I open and read it.
This one was particularly vulgar. It contained a series of photos of what could only be described as vintage porn - a young woman, posing in various black and white photos with captions asking the reader to guess who this mystery woman might be.
Is she a stripper, a porn star, a centerfold in a men’s magazine or perhaps even a hooker?
Each question is followed by another photo showing her breasts or shapely butt while wearing nothing but a pair of killer heels. After we have exhausted our attempts to guess who it might be, we are finally told it is a woman by the name of Stanley Ann Dunham Soetoro, otherwise known as Barack Obama's mother.
Let me pause for a moment to feign shock while holding my hand to my mouth.
Barack Obama has a mama named Stanley?
The dumbass who crafted this piece of drivel then goes on to imagine “the widespread play these pictures would be getting by the mainstream media if this had been John McCain's mother, or Sarah Palin's mother? But you won't ever see these pictures anywhere in a regular media outlet.”
No, of course not silly, here’s John McCain’s mother.
I was hoping to find a photo of Sarah Palin’s mom but came up empty handed. How can that be? You can easily access photos of Sarah Palin’s mother-in-law and photos of Sarah Palin’s daughter’s baby daddy’s mama but nothing anywhere on the interweb containing an image of this woman’s mother. Which begs the question, did Sarah Palin spawn in a petri dish from specially prepared organic matter? Is that why she can raise all those babies, run for office, kill large animals and still manage to have tidy hair and up to the minute lipstick?
Somebody needs to get on this right away. I think it’s much more important for us to find the woman responsible for this.
Seriously, I don’t get why it matters what anybody’s mama is or was. I’d like to think my kids can grow up to be leaders of the free world in spite of the fact their daddy may be going to the slammer, or we can’t afford to pay for their college or because their mama has had her own colorful, somewhat unconventional life. Like Obama, you take what you get and you make what you want.
The final shocking revelation in this insidious chain mail included a photo of Obama sitting with his biracial parents and the quote, “Oh, and keep reminding yourself that Obama is the first BLACK President of the United States. Yeah, right.”
In his first press conference as President-Elect, Barack Obama famously referred to himself as a mutt comparing himself to dog of impure breed. Many people thought he was disrespecting his own mixed race heritage. There is such irony here. Biracial children were always lumped in or categorized as Black. They were called mutts, zebras or mulattos. Historically, they were given the same legal treatment as blacks, which means the struggle against slavery, the Civil Rights movement and the global fight for African rights is theirs too but the President is not allowed to refer to himself as the first Black president?
Perhaps I am the ignorant one dear brother, because I just don’t get it. Please don’t send anymore of these emails. I wish to remain blissfully uninformed.