Thursday, October 29, 2009

Random Thoughts from a Feverish Mind

I have been sick with the flu. I forgot how much a fucking fever hurts.

I read my last post and realized it was quite a downer. I sound like a woman waiting for someone to come into my life and rescue me from household chores. This most assuredly is not the case. My girlfriend Robin explains the malady this way, "PMS Squared (perimenopausal syndrome, pre-menstrual syndrome, bastards)".

I don't wish to frighten the young women who regularly read my blog, perhaps by the time you reach the perimenopausal time of life, they will have found a cure for the random bouts of insanity.

The uncontrollable loss of sensible thought and ability to reason worsens in your late forties. It seems to be God's way of torturing us one last time before we are permanently released from the curse - as if cramping, bloating, bleeding and child birth weren't enough.

The Leaders of the Free World have confirmed this for me. Thank you sweet Jesus for girlfriends.

I have a wonderful boyfriend. He's okay with meeting a new, less confident, more emotionally volatile girlfriend each month. Angela is not here right now, I'd like you to meet my alternate personality. I call her the Mistress of the Damned.

He said he can handle it because I warned him about it in advance. Men can be so wonderfully simple and logical. Their minds don't seem to be as cluttered as ours. I think he may be charting my monthly cycle.

In all honesty, PMS Squared might be worse than the painful aching, sweating, shivering, delusional fever I've had for the past few days. It's a toss up.

Bottom line, I can handle the raking of leaves, thank you very much (except for this annoying blister on my right thumb).


  1. Well it's good to have you back to being an independent and sassy blogger. :)

  2. Okay, I was on a peanut butter fudge thing. Every time my husband walked in and saw me making it, I began to notice he would look at his watch. Because I am so persceptive, after about 8 months it hit me...I was making peanut butter fudge every 28 days.

    My point is, they chart you better than you chart you.


  3. I hope you start feeling better soon!

  4. Zen sounds wonderful...he's probably registered at

    I know my man is...

  5. Up until recently, "that time of the month" was like any other day (thanks BC pills that take the horrible jabs of pain away). Now, I'm a basket case. I can't handle anything. I'm not normally a crier, but the past few months have been HORRID. I don't know what's different. But, if it's period week, I'm off crying in a corner some where. My husband doesn't have to really keep up with it. It's obvious. :(

  6. Carrie - thanks, it's good to be back!

    Robin - could you send me some of those in around 24 days please?

    Jon - all better, thanks!

    Gillian - I had not heard of that site but I will be looking it up for sure. Great idea!

    Courtney Paige - I know, it's just awful, isn't it? Hang in there!

    Peach - thanks! I'm back to normal, or some version of normal thereof.

  7. I'm pms2 today, and there is no way on earth I'm going to rake the leaves. I'm sitting on my modern version of a fainting coach and eating mini nestles crunch bars by the hand full :)

  8. Wonderful Margo! Now you just need to add in a touch of hard bodied man in a loin cloth to fan you with giant ostrich feathers.

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