Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Mr. Sunshine - The Epilogue

Mr. Sunshine and I, aided and abetted by father time,  worked through the whole gambit of emotions after our divorce. I know it seems odd, but on the very DAY of our divorce, we walked from the courthouse into the parking lot and decided to spend the rest of he afternoon together, sitting, reflecting; talking about past, present and future.

It took him a long time (my viewpoint) short time (his viewpoint) to come to terms with the reality of us not finding a way to reconcile. During those agonizing months, he did not handle himself well in front of the kids. The girls were too young to be affected but The Commando was tuning into his dad's pain and turning into his dad in so many respects; including, but not limited to, holding me accountable for the cause of it all.

When Sunshine finally came to terms, to grips, to reality, we were able to begin to reconstruct our friendship and respect for each other as parents. Parents of these three fully functioning, beautiful, astoundingly cognizant souls we had ushered into this world  Our relationship continued to recover, ever so slowly; one day he's good, the next day he's the spawn of Satan. Finally, he seemed to get his own slap from Cher and he snapped out of it.

We have since enjoyed one of those seldom accomplished Bruce Willis/Demi Moore type post divorce harmonies. Holidays, birthdays, teacher conferences, kid's plays and concerts - all done together. Most recently he came over unexpectedly with his girlfriend/fiance and sat on the patio with my girlfriend and I talking for hours. Later my friend commented how unusual it was to have such a close relationship. Sometimes it has been too close, as in, watch yourself or he will take advantage.

Nonetheless, my position has always been - let's do whatever it takes to let go of our personal agendas and do what's right for these remarkable kids of ours.  With few exceptions and the occasional flare up here and there, it has mostly always worked. We speak respectfully, willingly trade days, plan vacations and other deviations from our court appointed schedules - all with little to no discord whatsoever.

We would often sit down and talk like old friends, sharing stories of family, knowing the other can understand from the historical context in a way that new people in our lives cannot. My favorites were always when he would update me on the continuing scams involving The Anti-Christ. Mr. Sunshine seemed to be doing financially very well. He spoke of paying off debt, saving money, planning to build a home. I was so proud of what we had accomplished.

I was thrilled to learn about the proposal to his girlfriend. The kids spoke highly of her, she seemed to be educated, dedicated and most importantly not a crazy, psycho, fatal attraction kind of bitch. I was happy for them. I embraced them and let the kids know of my acceptance and joy by demonstrating a welcoming atmosphere. 

This is the way I envisioned the end of the Mr. Sunshine chapter of my life. It all seemed to be conclusively, definitely and properly solidified. It was, for all practical purposes - a happy ending.

While I have been writing of this chapter of my life, I was elated to know I could end one of these Mr. Whatever series on a high note, with some semblance of hope - letting you all know, anything can be overcome if you keep your priorities straight.

Five years of happily un-married accord. Until just one week ago......

(Artwork entitled, "The Leaving" by Angela Hayden at


  1. Nooooo!!!! Not another cliff-hanger ending! I'm going to die of a heart attack one of these days and just before I slip into oblivion I'm leaving a note that blames your wonderfully gripping blog. ;)

    I'm anxiously awaiting the news of what on earth you're up to now.

    I am very glad you and Mr. Sunshine handle things so well now though. That's so great for your kids. :) My own parents' divorce wasn't nearly as neat and tidy, and my brother and I definitely felt the tug of it. :/ Kudos to you for keeping it together, and no matter what you're into now, I hope it's for the best and that you finally get a real happy ending.

    Just do me this favor: If you're standing in front of the alter again, some day in the future, and you start crying profusely, RUN THE OTHER WAY. We'll all be waiting here with trophies and roses. ;)

  2. I could echo Carrie's sentiment almost 100%. Don't leave us hanging! Can't wait for what's next in store.. love how you write..

  3. I admire you. I have the same kind of relationship with my ex. I can't wait to hear the next chapter.

  4. aww l can't wait for the next one. I admire you strength

  5. I'm going to guess.. The perfectly wonderful fiance and your ex are now wanting to sue you for full custody and they really think they have a chance. Hope I'm wrong...

  6. Carrie - you have my sworn commitment. Anymore tears and I'm running as fast as I can!

    Ms. Over Thinker - Thanks so much. I agree with Carrie as well.

    Peach - always such a pleasure to hear from you. Life, ebbs and flows and I admire you more than you could possibly know.

    Yollie - Thanks. - This type of life comes with inherent strength.

    Julie - I'm so glad you are wrong on your guess; however, that scenario may be lurking around the corner. Keep your fingers crossed!

  7. I love your sincerity, a true homage to your soul. It's what will enable a grand entrance for the abundance of blessing and gifts that are headed your way.


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