Wednesday, September 23, 2009

The Mommy Word

Night had fallen, the kids were assuredly in bed and exhaustion had leeched on to me like one of those bloodsucking, flesh eating worms used for bloodletting, except instead of sucking out my blood, it was draining me of energy so deeply, even my hair was tired. Yet, there was one more load of laundry left to do. I felt like I was crawling across the Mojave desert in an effort to find sustenance ......must.......do........laundry.

The kids had been particularly needy that day, it was mommy this, mommy that, mommy, mommy, mommy all day.

One of the girls had clambered out of bed and now stood in the kitchen, looking for me. I was just down the hall in my bedroom when I heard the utterance of that vile and offensive mommy word.

"Honey, mommy is off the clock now and YOU, dear little fruition of my loins, have exceeded your maximum allotment of mommy words for the day. No more mommys, okay sweetie, just go back to bed."

To which her reply was, "mommy"?

So I did what all half-crazed, exhausted mommys do. Borrowing an expression from my Australian girlfriend, I went right round the twist. "Oh no, you jus di-unt say mommy again, did you? I said no more mommys. I do not want to hear that word one more time, in fact if I do hear that word one more time, I think I'm going to have to come in there and give you a beat down to Chinatown (not really a beating, just a euphemism meaning: Bitch is serious). Did you hear me that time, do you understand now, no more mommys or I'm going to scream or cry or possibly scream and cry AND throw things. I am tired and I need to get this laundry done and I can't take it honey, I am so very, very tired sweetie - please don't say mommy again, okay?"

Now standing halfway between the kitchen and my bedroom door in the slightest, most timid almost whisper of a voice she said....

Angela?

Cue: hugs, tears, laughter. I love this life.

20 comments:

  1. I love it!! Just when you think you've had enough..the love comes screaming (in this case-whispering) at you like a freight train...cherish the moments..we all grow up so fast!!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. That just might be the cutest thing I've ever heard. :) Thanks for stopping by my blog! Yours is gorgeous!

    ReplyDelete
  3. That is too freaking cute! I imagine that was the point when you said "screw the laundry!"

    ReplyDelete
  4. Dear A.....It is wonderful to read your musings. Love you. V

    ReplyDelete
  5. Oh tears for knowing how that feels, and laughter for how brilliant is that little girl. And how in trouble you are.

    ReplyDelete
  6. My kid does not know my real name. I cannot even read the "M" word without hearing it in a high pitch voice...

    ReplyDelete
  7. Wow, your blog is beautiful! One of the best I've seen!!! Thanks for stopping by mine!

    ReplyDelete
  8. Hugs, tears, laughter?

    I'm thinking backhand, punishment, and yelling "YOU WILL ADDRESS ME WITH SOME RESPECT, DAMMIT!"

    Maybe that's just me.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Thanks everyone for the comments. I love you moooooog. I am not as hardcore as you but one can only dream. Maybe one day....

    ReplyDelete
  10. Awe! This gives me hope for the future. I don't have any kids yet but I'm warned daily by my mother of how much stress and trouble they are. As long as there are moments like this, I think I'll be okay... maybe...

    ReplyDelete
  11. Courtney - don't worry, it's true - no matter how stressful it gets, these perfect little moments always come at the right times to remind you of the gifts that have been laid at your feet.

    ReplyDelete
  12. What a sweet child. I'm new here but love your blog. I'll be back.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Welcome new friends Peach, Confessionist and Jon Morgan - thanks for the kind words!

    ReplyDelete
  14. Loved this for many reasons, the biggest one: I can relate.

    Trust me in the fact that you will long to hear "Mommy?" in that fantastically innocent voice someday soon.

    Thanks for reminding me.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Whispering - thanks so much, I'm glad you enjoyed it.

    Fumbling - Just read your post on dealing with teenagers. Thanks for reminding me to enjoy their innocence just a little while longer.

    ReplyDelete
  16. I just poop a lot when I reach that breaking point...

    ReplyDelete
  17. Meatbag - of course you poop a lot, I hear organic meat makes you do that!

    ReplyDelete

Thanks for stopping by. I would love to hear from you.