The Mommy Word

Night had fallen, the kids were assuredly in bed and exhaustion had leeched on to me like one of those bloodsucking, flesh eating worms used for bloodletting, except instead of sucking out my blood, it was draining me of energy so deeply, even my hair was tired. Yet, there was one more load of laundry left to do. I felt like I was crawling across the Mojave desert in an effort to find sustenance ......must.......do........laundry.

The kids had been particularly needy that day, it was mommy this, mommy that, mommy, mommy, mommy all day.

One of the girls had clambered out of bed and now stood in the kitchen, looking for me. I was just down the hall in my bedroom when I heard the utterance of that vile and offensive mommy word.

"Honey, mommy is off the clock now and YOU, dear little fruition of my loins, have exceeded your maximum allotment of mommy words for the day. No more mommys, okay sweetie, just go back to bed."

To which her reply was, "mommy"?

So I did what all half-crazed, exhausted mommys do. Borrowing an expression from my Australian girlfriend, I went right round the twist. "Oh no, you jus di-unt say mommy again, did you? I said no more mommys. I do not want to hear that word one more time, in fact if I do hear that word one more time, I think I'm going to have to come in there and give you a beat down to Chinatown (not really a beating, just a euphemism meaning: Bitch is serious). Did you hear me that time, do you understand now, no more mommys or I'm going to scream or cry or possibly scream and cry AND throw things. I am tired and I need to get this laundry done and I can't take it honey, I am so very, very tired sweetie - please don't say mommy again, okay?"

Now standing halfway between the kitchen and my bedroom door in the slightest, most timid almost whisper of a voice she said....

Angela?

Cue: hugs, tears, laughter. I love this life.