When did it happen? I haven't been tech-savvy since the days of DOS. I can't do spinny rides anymore. Reading a menu in a dimly lit restaurant is absurdly challenging. Gravity is doing what gravity does. I am subject to hot flashes and random bouts of rage. Sneezing while standing can get ugly.
And now this.....
I am freaked out by large water parks with unusually hairy men who are always tugging, scratching and adjusting their cojones before hurling themselves into the water near me where I've been diligently eyeballing two pre-teen boys engaged in a rapid-fire spitting contest just narrowly managing to avoid a direct hit to the young mommy floating by with her newborn baby, packing God knows what in those swimmy diapers, only to turn around just in time to enjoy the delightful display of one of my very own precious offspring sneeze and subsequently shoot a glob of snot out of his nose equivalent to the size of one of those frozen yogurt dollops that sometimes drip out of the machine after you think you've shut it off.
Chlorine take me away.......or better yet,
get me the f#@k outa here.
I'm afraid, I'm very afraid.
Seriously, can the pool filters really keep up with all that hair?
Oh well, at least the kids had fun.