Friday, February 12, 2010

Betty Friedan, Simone de Beauvoir and Me

I am still somewhat new to blogging and as such, I consider my blog a work in progress. I am hungry to learn more, to study the nuances and components of a good blog and to endeavor to make my blog appealing to my audience. Very early on, I came across an intriguing, if not addicting blog called, “Ask and Ye Shall Receive”. The domain name gives away the premise as does the cartoon character of the grim reaper residing in the corner. If you ask, you need to be prepared to suffer the consequences because they are located at “”

The writing is magnificent; they are free to be brutally honest, wickedly blunt and constructively critical. It all works because the people they are tearing apart have asked for it. Countless bloggers dare to put themselves under this microscope of harsh scrutiny in spite of reading the disclaimers essentially telling them to bend over and grab their ankles. They ask anyway.

I’m fairly certain I must have had a few glasses of wine when I submitted my blogging for their flogging. What WAS I thinking?

It has been months since I did it. I have read all their reviews since and I had pretty much given up, thinking it must not have made the cut, thank God. I was breathing easily; imaging my impetuousness had not gotten me into trouble after all. Then it showed up – the notice that I had asked and I had received.

With my heart firmly settled in my throat, I clicked over and read the review, prepared by Madame Bellicose herself. I didn’t get shuttled off to a guest writer; I was to take my spanking from the mistress of doom, the blog’s proprietor. They have a rating system ranging from a “flaming finger” (the worst) to “four stars – I fucking love you”, (the best). Obviously, being the competitive person I am, I wanted nothing less that the full four fucking love.

Essentially, you could say I got a good review – three stars are not too shabby. She liked my writing, thought I was talented but she couldn’t go all the way with me because we differed too much in taste. Plus, my background was perceived as too busy with fairies and such. My intent to create chaos amidst the calm of a sunset was distracting. It made it difficult to read and my words were certainly worth reading. Enough said, fairies gone.

At first I didn’t recognize the person she was describing. I’m no feminist; I’m a delicate, southern lady, thank you very much. Then I read through some of my posts and I saw it. It is there, a thread that ties the entire purpose of my blog together.

It’s my blog and as all bloggers know, we start a blog for ourselves but ultimately we want others to follow us, to buy what we’re selling, to get the essence of our voice and to connect with us. I feel perhaps I was chosen to tell the stories of my life involving a lot of “Mr. Whatevers” to inspire women, to make them laugh and cry but most importantly to make them think.

I have just begun to peel off the layers of my life and as I explore the meaning of it all, I shall not walk through the valley alone. For you see, it is not just my plan to be a positive influence to women, it is my life to be constantly influenced by the positive women who inhabit it. That’s who I am. If that’s being a feminist then clear me a spot at the table.


  1. as long as your blog reflects who you are, you've done right by it. i would never submit my blog to anyone's scrutiny like you did simply because how can they know if my blog represents ME better than, well....ME, lol!

    but its all good and if you got something out of it, cool!

    I must ask, and i realize i am asking for it, lol, but are there no positive men to be influenced by in this world?????

  2. I've told you before and I'll tell you again ~ you rock sister! I'm glad you're hearing from more important people than! Hope the WP is doing great and you're recovering nicely as well. And I have to admit, before you changed the layout I would have to highlight all the text to be able to see them clearly. Can I just tell you how much my 45 year old eyes love the new layout? Have a great weekend and congrats on even MORE validation!

  3. Artman - that's a very good question, I'm glad you asked. I have many postings to come on good, positive men. There's just so much to write about, I haven't gotten to it yet!

    Leiah - thanks so much! I'm glad you like the new softer, kinder template. I'm 46 and losing my ability to see by the minute it seems.

  4. How funny you never saw the banner you've been carrying all this time. The one that says "charge!" You're not just a "feminist," you're a feminist leader. Delicate and Southern are two words I would never have used to describe you. Doesn't mean you're not feminine. I always liked the textured background...

  5. The "f-word" is not "feminist". Welcome to the club, sister! We'll burn our bras later.

  6. Yes Julie & Sweetie Pie - I get it now. But I still like to imagine I'm really a delicate little flower!

  7. Honey, I hate to be the one to tell you this, but you are one of the strongest women I know! But you can pretend to be a delicate little flower if you want to!

  8. Okay Sweets, I'll admit I'm one helluva strong woman but sometimes I like to be taken care of, ya know. I shall pretend only when I need to!

  9. Congrats on the 3 starts, you have a great blog. I aspire to be a modern-day Betty Friedan, sans liver damage...


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